Thursday, August 5, 2010

Nude Croquet: Ouch!

I enjoy being naked; therefore, almost all social activities where I can participate naturally appeal to me. I like to play sports and have done badminton, basketball, flag football, kickball, relay races, swimming, tennis and volleyball while nude. As an active and competitive man by nature, these games allow me the chance to truly be myself: engaging competitively and nude, simultaneously. These tests of endurance and skills enable me to live my life to the fullest as a queer nudist. I'm loving every minute of it!

An undergraduate classmate of mine is the sole child of a family that has a home (estate) in Middleburg, VA (spelled: m-o-n-e-y). As long as I have known AG, he has remained ambiguous regarding both his nudity and his sexuality (meaning: closeted). Over the years, those of us who know him have come to terms with this fact of his life and have moved on. He is simply being himself, nothing more, nothing less. As a matter of fact, it has been within the past ten years that he has even acknowledged that he is Deaf as opposed to hearing-impaired. The two of us were never particularly close, I always considered him an acquaintance.

I was surprised when I received an invitation from AG for a dozen of his "closest gay nudist friends" to attend a social at his family home for this past Saturday (his parents are out of the country for two weeks). Nudity was mandatory and the activities involved included croquet, swimming, cocktails and a buffet. The last time I was invited to his family home was almost five years ago and that occasion was for thirty "friends." I guess I'm moving up the social scale!

The opportunity for naked croquet intrigued me and I readily accepted the invite. I vaguely recall playing the game years ago. I know it involves wooden balls and mallets and navigating through hoops in the ground. Aside from that, my memory was blank. I googled the game a week before the social in an attempt to cover my ignorance. I was also hoping to maybe just do the pool thing and avoid croquet altogether.

Upon arrival, I and the others were informed that croquet was first on the agenda before swimming and beverages and food. I was grateful for my research and confident that I could offer at least a little competition. However, nothing could have prepared me for what happened next.

The game started and it was my turn. I looked down to eyeball my mallet and ball and noticed my own generous low-hangers. The mental imagine sent shivers down my spine! My testicles and a wooden mallet? Oh, hell no! No fucking way! I froze for what felt like eternity before taking my turn. Predictably, the whole experience was downhill from that point. I couldn't shake this picture from my brain. I completed the game, coming in second place. Surprisingly, considering the mental anguish.

I have finally discovered an activity that I am DEAFinitely not going to enjoy while naked. This one is just not for me. Been there, done that. No thank you.

Peace! Get naked. Enjoy!


freedowload said...
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Anonymous said...

Croquet isnt my cup of tea either. I was worry aboutmy low hanging balls too....

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